he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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