Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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