I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
