Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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