She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
