I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
