is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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