just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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