DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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