In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
