shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
