I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
