I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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