I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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