the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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