Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
