I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize