he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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