i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
