I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
