Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
