he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
