So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize