Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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