I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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