ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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