He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It was confusing and full of hummus
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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