drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
