i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
did i walk over a car last night?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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