I'm going to jail i love you
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
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Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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