Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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