she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
even my farts smell like vagina
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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