Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We're not piercing ourselves today.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
