Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
