remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My liver just had a heart attack.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
