just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
