she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
