i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
