i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
