and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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