she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
