I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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