Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
