To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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