There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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