I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm really busy with my period
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