My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
