It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
