Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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