the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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