i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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