Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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