i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
