You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
