Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
