Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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