I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
