hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
