So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
