You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
