Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
